I made a comittment to look into some stats on bullying. I did not do what I said I would do. I have no excuse for my behavior.
However, I did deal with a situation in my own life pertaining to bullying. My son who is in fourth grade started to display some very immature behaviors. These behaviors had shown up at an earlier time in his life. When we experienced it I had no idea where it had come from. I just thought he was acting that way because he was the youngest of six children. I believed he was having a hard time adjusting to starting school.
The behavior persisted,this led me to believe that the climate of the school he was attending was the issue. I was partically correct.
I took my children out the school they were attending, because I witnessed first hand the type of incidents they were being exposed to on a daily basis. I actually was substitute teaching in the building.
Well, believing the school was the problem I got them into a charter school in the same city. I was satisfied for a while then the behaviors started to show up again. Long story short I decided to relocate to another city. My decision was based on many things including the school situation.
This seemed to work for several years. Then I started to notice the behaviors reappearing. My son started to tell me how much he hated school. This was new even though he had behavior issues before he had never said that he hated school. He had always had good grades despite the behavior issues.Needless to say I was very upset about it.His teacher called me one afternoon to tell me she noticed a change in him. She said he seemed to be unhappy.
I started to pay attention to the behaviors. They included not doing his homework, crying about little things, being very easily irritated about just about everything. This child had always been pretty emotional, but he was maturing and learning. We had gotten to the point where he was displaying his emotions more appropriatly. I began questioning him about what he thought the problem might be. I asked him why he no longer liked school. It took weeks to get to the real issue. One day I just kept asking questions and I told him that his answers were not making sense.He was just saying things like because and I don't know. He got so upset, then he just yelled out. I just don't like to be bothered all the time. He yelled they just won't leave me alone. Naturally my next question was, who won't leave you alone. His answer was "everyone". I said now come on it can't be everyone.This was my way of trying to get the truth out. I know that at the time it probably felt like it was everyone.
The next day he told me a story about a child in his class mocking him every time he would answer a question in class. I inquired about the name of the child he told me and I made a mental note of it. I waited until my son left for school and called the teacher to tell her about what my son said to me.She assured me she would watch for any problems. I let her know that I wanted to stop what was going on before it went too far. A couple of days went by without incident. My son came home one afternoon and told me he had gotten into trouble his Physical Education class, because he hit someone. I asked him exactly what happened. He said a student kept saying to him we lost the game because of you. He said I just got frustrated and I hit him. The child was the same child my son had complained about earlier. My first question was where was the teacher.
I am a teacher and I know you can't always see everything. I also know that you should always try to find out what is going on, when there is an incident.I also know my son he just shuts down and basically takes the punishment. This makes it almost impossible to find out what really happened.
The very same week I got a call from the Principal about my son hitting someone. The same child involved the two prior situations had been trying to get his attention in the hallway. He did so by repeatedly poking my son in the neck.My son reacted by punching him in the stomache. We all know the person who physically hurts someone is the one whos get in trouble.
I had to go to the school to pick him up. I met with the Principal she began speaking to me about the problem, I could see she had not been informed about the on going problems. It actually took me two hours to make realize that there was a problem. She even said to my son, "He is your friend isn't he?" My son looked at her with this you have got to be kidding me, look. She told me she had not been informed about any ongoing problems. I told her of several incidents snd what had been done. The students involved had been sent to the "Character Coach".
Once I had gotten her attention she realized this was an on going problem.
There was a one week vacation after the incident.I knew that nothing would get resolved. I talked to my son and prayed it would end. Well the vacation was over and the problem was still there. I wrote a note to the teacher, the Vice Principal talked to the class, my son talked to the school counselor and hopefully the problem has been resolved. I am in touch with the school. My involvement will be ON GOING from now until he graduates. Our children deserve our ON GOING involvement in their education as well as in their everyday lives.
